We walked up the apartment stairs to the third floor. I was exhausted by the time we reached the door. No wonder it’s so cheap. There’s no freaking lift! I was about to open my mouth to say something about it, but decided not to instead. It would hurt him. Besides, I gotta give him credit. At least he earned enough money to actually get a room at this shitty apartment.

He looked around inside his bag for the key. 2 minutes later, he was still digging inside for the key. I got impatient. “Is the damn key in there or not?” I asked. “Chill, okay? I have it.”

“Then what’s taking so long? Come on, I’m tired. I need to sit.”

Billy looked up from his bag and smiled apologetically. “You lost the key, huh?” I asked.

“Y-ye-ahh,” he replied. I shoved his shoulder. “Billy!”

“It’s okay! I have a spare.”

“Then go get it!”

“I-i-i- don’t know where it is.” I looked at Billy with shocked eyes. Are you seriously kidding me? I came here all the way - okay it was just a few minutes for nothing!

“Don’t get so worked up. I know where it is,” Billy quickly added.

“Ugh! Billy, do you know where it is or not?!” I shouted.

“I do! Jeez, what’s your problem?” Billy laughed.

“I just walked three flights of stairs and I’M TIRED! Need I say more?”

“Okay, okay. God, imagine if you were pregnant. You’re already complaining.” I stared at him with evil eyes.

“I know… that … it’s … somewhere around here.” He pointed around the third floor. I dropped my bag on the floor and sat down beside the door.

“Okay, I’ll wait. You go look for it.”

“Casey! Come on! If we look together, we’ll find it faster,” he said, pulling me back up again. “And it was your suggestion to come here.”

“Gosh! Okay, I’ll help look. You start there,” I pointed to the left side, “and I’ll start there,” I pointed to the right side.

“Fair enough.” He walked away to the left and me to the right. I checked under potted plants…. Under carpets. Still no luck. As I was about to check the fifth plant, Billy yelled my name. As I turned, I stepped on a carpet and slipped. I landed on my butt! “OWWW!” Billy was watching me, cause then I heard his annoyingly loud laughter behind me. Note to self: carpets are slippery. Okay, reminder to self: never buy carpets for future house.

“Oh my god! Casey!” He laughed again and threw his hands up in the air. He came up closer behind me and offered me a hand. I pushed it away and got up. There he goes, laughing again. “It’s not funny, you jerk!” Oh great, there it goes again.

I walked towards his room and took my bag, rubbing my butt with my hands. He finally calmed down as he caught up with me.

“Are you okay?”

“Shut up.”

“I was just trying to …. Ah, whatever.”

“So did you find the key?”

“Oh, yeah!” Billy took out the key from his hands. It was carved room 32. He unlocked the door and we went in.

Did I ever mention that Billy isn’t exactly neat? His books, clothes were scattered on the floor. “Do you even clean up in here?” I closed my nose. It smells like something died in here! I kicked the books and clothes out of my way as I walked to the couch. The room was only made up of a small kitchen, a toilet and a living room so Billy sleeps on the couch. I took out a cigarette, left my bag on the floor and sat down. “Hungry?” Billy asked, going to the kitchen. “Err, I’ll just have a beer.” I lighted the cigarette and began smoking. “Hey hey hey!” Billy was running to me as though something was about to burn. “What?!” I replied. He snatched the cigarette out of my mouth and put it out. “What the hell!”

“This,” he moved his finger around the room, “is a non-smoking zone.”

“That was my last cigarette, asshole!”

“Huh, like I care.” He went back to the refrigerator and took out two cans of beer. “Fine, whatever.”

He gave one can to me and sat down beside me. “So… what was it you wanted to tell me?”

“You mean, what was it you wanted to know?”

“Same thing.”

“Nooo. I don’t want to tell you.”

“What? Casey! Come on. I barely see you these days. Don’t you think you owe me some kind of explanation?”

“What explanation? I don’t owe you anything!”

“Damnn, Casey.”

I sighed. I took a sip of the beer. Do I really have to hide this away? It’s just Billy anyway. I sighed again.

“Billy, it’s about my parents…”

“What about them?”

“I don’t know. They’ve been abusing each other. And they’ve been constantly fighting and fighting and fighting. I can’t stand it anymore! I just… I don’t know. This fighting…it’s never been this bad. I hear chairs thrown across the room, glass breaking. Yeah, I mean I’m supposed to be used to it right? I am. I’m just scared. What if my dad does that to me? Yesterday, my mum went to the hospital. She had some broken ribs. I’m sure it was dad who did this! I hear her scream every single night. How the fuck do you expect me to not be scared?!”

Billy sighed. He fidgeted with his hands. I waited for him to reply.

“Casey… stay with me. Live with me. Then you wouldn’t have to ever face that fear.”

Ooookkkaayy. That was NOT the reply I expected. I looked at him in shock.

“Billy… are you…. are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“I …. I would really really like that. But I can’t. I just can’t. It’s just… I’ll admit, I’m a lazy person. I depend on other people for my comfort or safety. I can’t burden you with all this.”

“I don’t care, Casey. I want to take care of you. I want to be there for you.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks. And you know what? I didn’t bother stopping them. I didn’t want to stop them. It has been way too long since I’ve last cried my heart out.

Suddenly, Billy took my face in his hands and kissed me. The kiss…. It was as though something good has finally happened. I felt strange. My heart was pounding a million times faster. My cheeks were turning as red as a ripe tomato. There were no longer thoughts in my head. I moved my hand to his face and held it there. Even the first time we kissed, it couldn’t be compared to this. This is what I’ve been longing for in a long time. This is what I dreamed of having. This kiss. The perfect kiss.


"Thanks for the ride, wait here." i informed Ashton before getting out of the car. I stood near the roadside, thinking whether or not to talk to Nancy about the break-up. The weather was getting hotter and hotter, ughh, i couldn't stand the bloody heat. I just had to go inside and talk to her about this. I know i know, it's between my brother and her hence i shouldn't care less. Face it Minnie, there's nothing you can do right. God, maybe i shouldn't have come here in the first place.

"Minnie? Is that you?" I turned around to see Nancy, looking as gorgeous as ever, standing a few inches away from me. I wondered how long had she been standing there already. She seem to be a little confused upon my arrival in front of her house. Who wouldn't be anyway? Out of a sudden, your boyfriend - well, ex boyfriend's sister looks for you and you have no clue why either. I wanted to take this opportunity to get the answers from her, to ask her about.. you know what i mean. But before i could say another word, she was nice enough to invite me in for a cup of tea first.

Nancy comes from a wealthy family so i guess that explains the surrounding of her house. Plasma television, the couch which i've always wanted, god how rich could she be? She had a few devastating portraits of paintings and photographs, hanging on the wall. Not to mention, pictures of her and my brother together too. I guessed she'd missed him. So, this was my chance to get her back with my brother.

I sat down on the ever so comfortable couch and sighed. I thought about what i was going to say when she comes back from the kitchen with my tea. Should i bring up the topic? I should right. But how? "So Nancy, you've not been calling my brother up lately. What happened?" No.. Too cheesy. How about.. "So Nancy, rumours said you were going out with another guy. Is that true?" ERK! I'm not going to say that! Can i just go straight to the point damnit.

"I ran out of tea. Hope you don't mind having coffee." She gently put the cup on the glass table and sat down next to me. The aroma of the coffee was really strong and familiar too. It must be those imported from Germany. Nevertheless, i hate coffee. I don't even fancy the smell, the taste and the texture of the liquid. Arghhh. It's not like i was going to drink it anyway.

"So what brings you here Mimi?"

"Erm.. Erm..... " i looked down to see my sweaty palm.

"C'mon Minnie. You can tell me anything. Is it a boy you like in school?" she said melodically while taking a sip of her coffee. Sadly, it wasn't about that.

"No........" I grabbed the pink doll keychain, dangling from the strap of my bag which was given by Lance last summer and then played with it. I think she got the massage roughly.

"Oh. Is it about me and your brother?"

"Yeah......" i murmured, still looking down.

"Minnie, hun. Owh.." She came closer to me and held my hand.

"Mimi, look at me." I looked up at her and listened.

"It's not a break-up okay? We need some space between us, that's all." she smiled sweetly at me.

"But Lance was pretty upset you know."

"He is? Well, i'm not surprised. I am too."

"Why can't you two get together again?" i pleaded.

"There are some things you wouldn't understand... You're still young, Mimi."

"But......"

"Not but's. We can handle this ourselves alright? Don't you worry so much." she pouted and pinched my cheeks.

I giggled and sighed.

"Nancy, is it true you.. "

"You're with some other guy now?" i sighed.

"Where did you get that from?"

"Oh, nevermind. I trust you, you wouldn't do anything to hurt my brother right? Although.. you're not in a relationship with him anymore.."

"I still love him, Mimi. I would never get together with anyone else! I just.. Forget it, you won't understand. Haha. Do you want some more coffee?" she asked politely.

I stared at my cup, which was looking rather full already. I shook my head repeatedly and we both laughed. She must have known, i'm not used to drinking coffee at this age yet.

"I guess i'll get going. My friend's waiting for me in the car." i stood up and gave her a bear hug. "Were you surprised to see me?" i grinned at her. "Very. I'll visit you some other time yeah." "Will wait for you." We had a good laugh. After that, she walked me to where Ashton's car was parked and we said our goodbyes. I even thanked her for the coffee although i barely touched it.

I got into the car and Ashton drove me back. Of course, we did have a nice talk in the car ;)

**

I thanked him for the ride home and got off the car. The lights weren't on, that's weird. At this time, Lance should be back from college. Where could he be? Without thinking any further, i took my keys out from my bag and unlocked the gate. It was dark and i could hear noises coming from everywhere!! You could say, i was feeling afraid and being the pussified one. I quickly turned the lights on and guess who i saw?

Yes, Lance.

I was shocked to see him, lying down on the floor, drinking.

"Lance! What happened to you!"

"Leave me alone."

"Lance, you're drinking. You don't drink."

He never replied.

"That's it. I'm bringing you back to your room." i said while trying to lift him up. God, he's heavy.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE." he shouted at me while pushing my hands away from him. I lost balance and landed on the floor.

"What are you trying to do!? KILL YOURSELF!?"

"It's my problem. Now, go away." he said while taking another sip of beer from the can.

"Okay. okay." i paused. I stood back up and there was silence. What was that all about? He looked pale and horrible. I stared at him, not bothering about the tears which were falling down onto my cheeks already. My brother has never scolded me this way before. This was his first time ever, treating me like this. Shouting on top of his voice, pushing me aside. Did he care about my feelings?

Oh right. Why didn't i thought of that? Suddenly, i came to the stage of realization that i'm only his god damn little sister. I can't do much. Can i? God, what have i done? Why did i even take the trouble to look for Nancy? "Do whatever you want." i muttered while wiping my tears away. I ran up to my room and slammed the door behind.

"Why the fuck am i crying, GOD!" i threw my bag down angrily onto my bed and turned the volume of my CD player to the max. Because of this stupid break-up, he's doing this to me? I know, he's in a bad mood and all but doesn't he know when he's sad, I AM SAD TOO? I guess not. Sigh, i'm worried for him. Very. What if he commits suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills? What if he moves out and never comes back? What if he runs away from home..?

Trace and i walked a few kilometres away , and there we were . We reached the cafe in 2 minutes time , well around there . Trace pushed the door for me , and we walked over to the counter and looked at the menu .

" So , what drink would you two like to have ? " says one of the barista .

" Erh nah . i'll just look around first . How bout you , Trace ? " i replied .

" Can i have one cup of green tea frappuccino ? Sophie , why dont you try the Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino ? i heard its very nice "

" Right away , sir . Oh yes , our double chocolaty is sure delicious ! " said the brista .

His expression was really funny but yet cute .

" Sure , sure . i would love to have 1 . " I laughed .

" Okay . Why dont you take a seat first , i will bring it to you in a moment . "

So Trace and I went to take a seat near the window on a sofa . Ah , comfy . Very . Trace sat on the other side . I stared out at the window , looking at those kids running around , shouting here and there without any worries . It feels great being a kid , right ? I would love to go back when i was still a small little girl , where you dont have to worry bout anything . Sigh . I just kept staring at them and thinking back bout the past .

" So .. Sophie , what's up with you ? " Trace said .

I didnt reply as i just kept staring out .

" Sophie ?? Are you okay ?? " Then he knocked the window .

" OH OH , yeah yeah . Its very pretty . " I replied eventhough i was really , really blur .

" Huh ? Pretty ? What are you talking about ? I'm asking you , what's up with you ? Not bout your clothes . " He chuckled , but still had his confusing look on his face .

" No no , not my clothes . Argh . niway , nothings up with me . Just the same old me . Nothing much "

" Well , why were you feeling so down when i bumped into you ? Dont lie to me . Tell me , you'll
feel better . " He walked over to my sofa from his .

" look , Trace ! I'M FINE . AND I'M BETTER THAN WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING FROM ME . THERE'S NOTHING WRONG BOUT ME . "

i quickly looked away as the brista was bringing over the drinks and staring at me . I think i shouted quite loud and sort of scolded Trace infront of everyone . Ah .

" Enjoy your drink .... " says the brista while handing over the drinks to us .

" Erh , Sophie , are you chill right now ? Come , take a sip of double chocolaty . " He handed me the drink .

I took a sip . and wrap my fingers around the cup . Feeling really nervous and somehow , a little sad .

" So are you ready to tell me what happen now ? You know if you dont want to tell me its alright . i just want to let you know that i'll always be here for you whenever you need someone . " He sounded quite sad .

" Ah , dont be like that , TRACE . you're forcing me ! "

I took a deep breath and continue with my words .

" FINE FINE , i'm going to tell you everything you want to know . Martin's treating me very different these days and i dont know whats wrong with him . He's not quite bothering me these days . He's always flirting with those bitchy cheerleaders . Gosh . that's making me damn piss right now . I've also heard one of Martin's friend saying that i'm soon to be his ex . I dont have any idea is he going to break up with me or what . I hope he wouldnt , i seriously hope that it wouldnt happen . I know , somehow , sometimes , i can be a little too harsh on him . but its not my fault right ? Please tell me not . and my parents just arent getting right also . I have a feeling that they might be getting divorce in any second right now . Sigh . I've so many things to worry about . So i dont think you have any idea how i'm feeling right now . "

I started to shed some tears , then cried . I never thought that i could actually let my feelings out to someone . All this years , i've never tell anyone before how i'm feeling . Trace , is the first one . He makes me feel so comfortable whenever i'm around him eventhough this is like our first time hanging out .

" Come , take this . " Trace handed me a piece of tissue with a green tea fragrance . I guess he's in love with Green Tea .

" Thanks . " I replied , taking the tissue away from his hand .

" Well , cheer up . Everything will be alright tomorrow . You know , i'm not really good at advising people . I can only be a good listener , hope thats good enough . But i just want to let you know that i'll always be right there for you , whenever you need someone . And when you need a shoulder to lean on , you can always come and find me alright ? "

He grabbed my hand and held it tightly , so that i'll feel much secured . Then he started to hug me , and i slowly lean again his chest . After seconds, i realised i felt better and much more safer . He gave me some time to breathe and feel better , he also patted my hair like i'm a small girl . Yes , that's the feeling i need . Someone to treat me like i'm a small girl .

" Come , let me get you home alright . You need some rest . It's getting late . "

I followed his lead and wiped away my tears . He walked home , and we just kept quiet most of the time . Finally , i reached home .

" There you go . Home sweet home . Go in , take a shower and sleep . I'm sure you're going to be alright when you're away . "

" Thanks Trace . Really . Thanks for listening to me and sorry for letting my anger out on you . "

" Its okay . Don't be silly , Sophie . You don't have to apologize . Anyway , can i have your cellphone number ? So i can give you a call whenever i want . "

Then , we switched cellphone number and i walked into my house . I was extremely tired . I quickly ran up the stairs , to my room and looked out of the window . I watched him leaving . So , i went to take a quick shower and went to bed . I couldn't open my eyes anymore , and i slowly fall into my dreams .